Corrupt A Wish

Wish granted, but you look ugly, so it doesn't really count.

I wish I had time to cosplay for Anime Expo.

you do but then you get raped by the person who decided to dress as your enemy

i wish i had electric powers

Wish granted, but you can't go in water or else you'll electrocute yourself, result in you smelling extremely bad.

I wish this wig was in stock and I could buy it in emerald/dark green.

Wish granted, but Reaper's electric powers burn your wig. (Cosplaying as C.C.? )

I wish I could go to Anime Expo in general.

Wish granted. You attend but you find Man Faye, scarring you for life.
(Actually, I want to cosplay as Miku Hatsune.)

I wish the ability to manipulate air.

Granted, but you accidentally get rid of air overall, leaving nothing to breathe. (I'm scared to google Man Faye.)

I wish video games were cheaper.

(Do it. It's not that bad.)
Granted, but the quality bombs and the industry crashes altogether.

I wish I had some watermelon to eat.

You do but it explodes because of your air powers

(you forgot your wish, maaaan ) I wish Joseph didn't edit this post.

Wish granted, but he re-edits it.

I wish Family Guy was on instead of King Of The Hill.

Wish granted, but it's all in French and you don't understand much.

I wish I had more shitajiki.

Wish granted. But then when you want some more, all the printers in the world break and you can't get anymore.

That was lame I know. But I really didn't know what shitajiki was.

I wish for eternal happiness.

Granted, but happiness becomes overrated.

I wish I can play every instrument in the world.

You can. However, you are so horrible at every instrument, that saying "I can play every instrument in the world" comes as an embarrassment to you, not an accomplishment.

I wish I could (help Joseph) make a comic based on the Gazebo RPG

Granted, and it caused a worldwide phenomenon. However, things in the RPG/manga go out of hand, influencing millions of people all over the world, starting a Magi cult and dividing the world into sects of Julius and Cassius followers. So in a sense, making (or helping to make) the manga caused the world's downfall.

I wish I had accurate character designs of everyone's characters so I can get started on making the comic.

You magically get it all in your head but it cripples your hands

I wish I had all the weapons in the world

Wish granted. But you end up getting weapons that self-detonate when you fire them. Thus resulting in your death.

I wish people can actually send me texts instead of just being able to receive them.

Granted, but everyone badmouths you with each incoming text.

I wish it wasn't 1:53 AM right now.

Ok it's 1:57

I wish I could control time

Wish granted. You can control time, but you accidentally bring yourself back to the age of dinosaurs and get eaten by a T-Rex.

I wish I can be with someone smart and fun rather than be here at home.

You are but he speaks only German

I wish I had xray vision

Granted. You have cancer from too much X-Ray exposure.

I wish I have heat vision.

Wish granted. But your heat vision burns your eyes and now you're blind.

I wish I could lose weight the healthy way.

Wish granted but as a result, you can't grow any taller.

I wish I could go to the Maid Cafe at AX.

Wish granted. But you take a bite out of a pastry and get food poisoning.

I wish I didn't have to do my summer homework, but still get the full credit as if I did.

Wish granted, but you fail the rest of the class as you don't understand the fundamentals that were covered in the summer work.

I wish I could sing with power and control.